50 Cent

According to the currency conversion website XE.com, annoying mumbling American rapper 50 Cent should strictly speaking be known as "27p" in the UK. So he's less than a first-class stamp. What a bargain. I'd buy three and make them dance for me on command, and call them the "81 Pence Collective". Obviously they'd have to be neutered before I let them in the house though, to kerb the inherent vicious streak that most rappers seem to be bred for.